I should have written this entry months ago.
I don't know why I've been putting this off. The fact is that I have had a really hard time animating as of late. For various reasons, a lot of the joy I used to take in the process has been largely sucked out. I'm not dead yet, but I'm far from healthy. At this point, I feel that talking about it a bit might help me get back on my feet.
CE-Rap and I have gone our separate ways creatively and now I'm back to working on my own. The events that led to me walking away are largely responsible for my current state of demotivation. Long story short, my joyful hobby became a tortuous "professional" effort. I surrendered my control and became little more than a tool, trying to meet other peoples standards, schedules, and expectations. I realize now that such "professional" attitudes are a kiss of death for the hobbyist. The more disciplined results might have looked better, but what good is having a better product if you have to sell your soul to get it? Once the joy is gone, nothing else matters. You might as well just be putting in more hours at your shitty day job.
Anyway, I'm done with partnerships for a while. For the forseeable future, everything I do I will have to be able to do on my own.
Exiles is still dead. Even if it hadn't already been reworked into oblivion, I still cannot produce it anymore. I don't have the artistic talent necessary to continue from where VGE3 left off. It's just too much of a production.
That does not mean that everything that had been planned for the Exiles must necessarily be scrapped. The whole thing about the Exiles was that I could produce fights between whatever characters I wanted and I could have a multiverse angle to stitch it all together storywise. Now that the whole Exiles premise it toast, I'm simply going to take some of those badass matchups I had planned and do them as one-shot stories. Sooooo... single-serve badass fights that would have existed anyway with the Exiles, only in a more streamlined form.
Now that my involvement in the Sentinel Destruction Collab 2 is over, I will prioritize the Random Select Collab. (The original entry I had for that was a joint effort with Rap and now unusable.) I must animate a new scene for that. That won't take long if I can find a groove with it. ...hopefully.
After that's caught up, the immediate future will be about getting some closure on other unfinished business. As of this moment, I have multiple unfinished projects. Those that CE-Rap and I worked heavily on together shall forever remain in the vault. However, I still have three fights of my own that have significant progress made and require only to be finished.
After that, the one-shots. Possibly intermixed with a new series I have in mind to replace the VG Exiles. More on that later.
Anyway, that's the situation for better or worse. I would appreciate any motivation or encouragement you guys could send my way. I have a long trek ahead of me and my shoes are already worn out.
R1665
Age 41, Male
Kentucky, USA
Joined on 2/17/08
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The Future
Posted by R1665 - June 11th, 2015
Comments
No-one can really understand or overstand what you’re going though R1665 unless they walk in your shoes. But I hope my two cents may help out a bit sir. Now that C-Rap is out of the picture, your inspiration with the projects you two suppose to be working on has now faded and it does sucks and it can be hard to pick up where you left off. But please don’t let that kill your drive for doing projects you have in mind.
Get up on your feet, dust yourself off and walk! Keep walking until you feel like running!
You have done so much for others with collaboration and I for one thank you for taking the time out of your daily life to help. I know you heard me saying this to you like a thousand times before but man, you’re also a great inspiration to me as well!
If it wasn’t for you and @Techlesswayz, I wouldn’t be into sprite animation as much. It would be a shame to lose another great animator and your work is unlike anyone else’s.
You put professionalism in your work because you take pride in what you do. You don’t half ass your production because that’s not your style. You give it your all! And you give it your best!
It’s ok to take time out from working with others to recap, focus on yourself for a change and start fresh when you’re ready to do so.
Produce what ever you feel like doing and go with it. If you need the inspiration to do so, look up some other animators and see what pops for you. Maybe that’ll start the engine again. ;)
Good luck R1665, I’ll be looking forward to your future work and what you got for us in this collaboration. (Hint, hint)
~MS~
I still think that VG exiles is awesome and has great potential; don't give up!
Does the series absolutely need artwork to progress? It's a nice touch, but I think it would survive without it. Or just a few pieces to 'flesh out' the characters.
But the story was an important part of Exiles, not just the fights. The fights were awesome, but the story was the glue that held it together. The artwork provided nice touches and improved attachment to the characters and their emotions, but story/text and serve this role too.
Was the story all you, or heavily influence by your past collaborators?
The one-offs would be nice, I'd probably check them out because you're a great animator. But, I don't know if they'd keep me checking this page every week or so. You have me, a grown man (I'm your age and I like to think I'm intelligent and have good taste!), checking your page semi-regularly, even though it has had little activity for years. This is because of the story in Exiles combined with the fights was addictive, and I think had potential to be an epic saga.
Hope that helps for motivation!
Also, I know previously you have said you are not really into monetizing this hobby of yours...
but just for thought, imagine the idea of making a blog, and installing some ads on it. The start is slow, but as your daily hits rise, perhaps it gives you increased motivation to produce more. When you start getting enough hits to make tangible income, the motivation increases further.
People have blogs about stupid crap; what they cook, what they did in their life, etc... surely the world can support a blog to document your hobby and the releases of VG exiles.
As soon as art became a "thing" for the series, there was no going back. Many of the locations, characters, and plot lines required customized artwork or heavily edited sprites. I can do the latter to a degree, but not the former, and certainly not enough to keep a ship as big as the Exiles afloat.
The story was rudimentary. I was pretty much just making it up as I went along. Besides, the VG Exiles carry some bad memories for me now and I'd kind of rather do something new anyway.
That's not to say that what I produce won't have story. Even the one-shots will have stories to them. They just won't be connected to each other. I also have the aforementioned new series that I've been thinking up to replace the Exiles. I plan to have it well-written and fleshed out before I begin rather than do it on the fly.
The Exiles actually started as a "practice run" for an MK vs. SF series and it wasn't until VGE2 that I made it my complete focus. I believe that this new series will eclipse it in terms of storytelling. It just probably won't have the art scenes.
I had considered blogs, podcasting, and whatnot. That's a possible avenue on down the line, but nothing terribly soon. At the very least, I need to come back at least to my original pace of production before I start doing things like that. I also hold no illusions that I will ever be able to live off my work. As a sprite animator, I'd have to be ten times more famous than Alvin-Earthworm at his peak to make that feasible. I just don't see that happening. If, by some miracle, it did happen, then does that leave me once again losing my interest as my hobby becomes actual "work"?
This will be one thing and my means of making money will be another. I'm okay with that.
R1665
As to whether Alvin could have made a living off of it based on advertisement revenue, I'd be surprised if he couldn't have at least made considerable money on the side. I'm sure he could get many thousand views per month. The guy was/is immensely popular. But there are people that make a living off blogging, and what they do is often nothing from fancy. Take the Food Babe for example; an idiotic blog, but even it has found a niche audience, and that blog is her job. Of course, your cost of living affects whether it is enough to live on.
As far as whether when your hobby becomes your job, it takes the pleasure from it... Sure, that's a possibility. I also wonder if in some cases it's a cop out. When you spend lots of time on something, it eventually becomes boring, or you hit hurdles, etc... Greatness requires breaking though those hurdles. It's why lots of people play instruments, but only a small handful become prodigies. Practicing the instrument requires dedication and focus, getting through the cloudy days makes the sunny ones brighter. The optimist might view this phenomena this way; having those harder times makes but good ones that much sweeter. Perhaps this applies to your current form of... writer's block?
Definitely couldn't guarantee that you'd make a living, but I'd be surprised if after a year or so of building up a fan base and developing content, you don't make enough to at least give you some extra spending money. There does have to be good addictive content, though. Part of this can be blog-type updates, but addictive animated flash series is in there. You would probably have to ditch newgrounds (in order to place advertisements). I would also be curious how popular flash sprite animation in general is versus time.... need to follow some trends to stay popular I suppose.
Anyways, having animating as a casual past time is perfectly ok, I definitely respect that. I'm just prompted to suggest the blogging idea since this hobby in particular requires a large time devotion in order to get the quality of animation you're probably needing to feel satisfied.
glad to see you're still among us my friend! looking forward to all future endeavors and projects you got planned.
it is a shame such a powerful partnership ended, but you have the ability in yourself to produce great work, you have before, and you will do more in the future.
i come back every several months to see if you made something new. I get it man its rough when people expect things and its just a hobby to you. It can be frustrating. I suggest you start fresh and do your best. All of your fans will be happy.
Man..........Plx dont end VG exiles.its an awesome story.your animations are awesome.i hope this ``Depression´´ of yours pass out(Sorry for the english errors,i am Brazilian)
Hey Riggs! I'm so happy to hear you are back working on new flashes for us to watch. Thanks so much for being here for us action viewers! I used to show all your flashes to my friends and we would re-watch them a bunch of times. On top of the good times you have given my friends and I , the music you have shown us as well is amazing. Thank you from the bottom of my twisted heart. Now we the people of Newgrounds get this awesome treat of good news that you are still hard at work for us! You cant imagine how excited I am for the news of a possible new series. As always I will wait with baited breath for your next front page block buster.
I know what you mean. It's hard to get the bug back once you've lost it but you are a very creative artist full of innovative ideas. I know you will start animating again. it just has to feel right. You can't do anything half assed you have to really feel like doing it or you won't do it at all. Just give yourself a break collect your thoughts, live a little, and when you have the urge to animate again do it. No matter how much or how little just do it and that will blossom your creativity.
There have actually been some developments and I'll be making a new news post soon. It'll be when I have something to show, though.
In the meantime, I'm making some of the best work I've even done. It's just coming along much more slowly than I'd prefer.
R1665
It's a damn shame that such things happen, but all we can do is press forward. Since the unification of Rap and you, I have been in for the long haul. I've waited this long, I suppose I can afford to wait some more. At the end of the day, I love what you have done in the past, and that is the driving force behind my patience. I whole-heartedly believe that you can do AMAZING work, and that is what I am willing to wait for. I think I've said it before, but I'll say it again; Take as much time as you need, man. I'll still be here when you're ready.
saucybird
Man get on your feet and start creating! I'm sure you got hundreds of ideas you wanna execute by yourself, so get to it and remember whether it's good or bad, inspiration is inspiration and everything around you is inspiring which is enough to last you a lifetime. Good luck!