I probably could have posted this update a few weeks ago, but I thought it would be best to make sure 2016 got tapped twice in the chest and once in the head before I showed back up again. I'm sure a majority of people would agree that it's been a bad year.
I'm sure an alternate-universe version of myself somewhere met his goal of having VG Exiles Episode 4 done by the end of the year. I'm sure he's celebrating having already broken ground on his new series. Maybe he's already gotten into the choreo on VGE5. Maybe he's already got FAIL 3 out.
Too bad I'm not him right now.
I find myself having a really difficult time carrying momentum. I haven't made significant progress since my last update and that realization just seems to create a feedback loop of misery and failure. I sat at a full stop for well over a month and any motivation I ever gathered would just fade away as quickly as it appeared. It doesn't seem to matter that I'm sitting on something super-cool that's never been done before. VGE4 has been in the works for going on six years now and I'm SUPER tired of it. Mostly I'm tired of the memories and it doesn't help that I have a minimum of a couple month's worth of work left to do on it. I really REALLY want to put it behind me and I can't allow myself to skimp on the production. It's a bad situation all around.
Hopefully, I can get some traction in the next couple of weeks when I start school back. It was a good boost during my last semester, but it didn't last very long. It's not hard to think of other things I'd rather be doing during my between-class time than animating a project I'm less-than-enthusiastic about. Hell, I'd consider it a victory just to bring myself to open the program at least once each day.
I find myself spending an unhealthy amount of time playing Titanfall 2 and wishing death upon my ex-partner. It's been almost two years since that whole fiasco ended and I still don't have closure. I still can't get past it. I want that fucker dead and buried and forgotten. Even the fact that I'm stil letting this bother me even now bothers me.
...and it's not even like I'm swamped with projects anymore. I'm doing a collab right now, but that's hardly a serious drain on my time. Also, I've cancelled all of my unfinished side projects. So I'm not sure what's holding me back anymore. It can't just be my burning desire to pull a "Negan" on CE-Rap. It can't just be fatigue with VGE4. It's gotta be something else and I just can't nail it down.
Anyway, enough rambling. VGE4 will be done when it's done. I'll just have to make better use of whatever motivation I can muster in 2017 and hope that I can at least get it done before Trumpageddon kills the internet.
In the meantime, I've decided to go ahead and share what remains of a couple of my old projects. They have been completely and permanently cancelled, so I suppose there's no harm in putting them out there for those of you who still bother to check this page out. I'll start with just one for right now -
Duck King vs. Shen Woo
Fair warning, this is beta as hell and the VCAM might be fucked up.
It was going to be a standalone tag-team fight from way WAY back. Like "I made it when CE-Rap disappeared for months on end during Hurricane Sandy" way back. So, super-old and super-primitive. In more recent times, I was not yet willing to scrap it and instead wrote it into the storyline of a new series I had planned. Eventually, I realized that it was just too obsolete and make the whole story much too convoluted. I couldn't let myself worry about this project when I had so many other things with much higher priority.
It's several months down the drain, but I'm ready to accept that now. I'll cannibalize whatever bits I can and trash the rest. So, I guess take whatever enjoyment you can out of it. It's now officially abandoned. My way of saying "Sorry, I don't have another screenshot of VGE4 because motivation is lacking and I'm sick of acting like I'm making progress when I'm struggling to get even the simplest of tasks done. So here's ...something?"
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Oh, and I probably won't be releasing VGE4 on Newgrounds when it's done, anyway. This site has gotten so uptight with musical copyright issues that I no longer feel that it's safe to continue releasing videos here. Doing so might even jeopardize my earlier releases. VGE1 was already taken down and I can't risk having a site full of flagging busybodies descend on all of my old videos. I just can't take that chance.
So, this will remain as a very occasional blog until such time as I get back on my feet and find a new place to host my work. I'll let you guys know when that time comes. In the meantime, Newgrounds is dead as a venue for any of my future projects. Sorry, Tom Fulp. I know you have your reasons for this copyright crackdown, but I just can't get behind it. The era of "Everything by Everyone" is done.
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Please wish me luck, folks. I definitely need it.